shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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