I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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