Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize