I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
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I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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