the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize