Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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