saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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