His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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