Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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