he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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