he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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