i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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