im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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