when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize