You're so nebulous sometimes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize