Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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