But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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