At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize