Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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