I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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