i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
cat food counts as protein by the way
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize