There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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