I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
pop tarts are not kleenex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize