Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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