i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize