Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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