So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize