So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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