tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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