If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize