Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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