just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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