1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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