stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize