Me too!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm having to shit out rocks
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