I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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