Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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