Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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