you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just high enough for therapy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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