he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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