We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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