Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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