Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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