I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize