Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
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I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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