Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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