he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
