he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize