No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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