I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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